caemgel

puppy advice

2009-08-20T21:05:51Z

Anybody know anything about dogs?
So I have the cutest valhund pup. She is almost 2 years old and in great shape physically except for an overbite. There are two issues that I only bring up together cause I am wondering if they might be related.
The first is that she seems really neruotic. Nervous all the time.I think her newest thing is trying death by owner. She keeps walking up under my feet as I am walking just perfectly so that she trips me and I fall on her before I even realize she is there. So far I have done good not to actually land on her, but I am worried that sooner or later my luck will run out. Then she runs over to a corner and slinks about giving me a look like I chased her down and kicked her for no reason. This goes with a lot of licking - anything and everything and virtually all the time in what is looking more and more like a nervous habit more than anything else.
At first I thought the active tongue was just the overbite irritating her. But up to and including her last checkup (just shy of two months ago) the vet saw no signs of irritations and didn't think it was causing her pain. So we opted to not interfere with it. But she is playing with her food more before she eats it and playing with her mouth more.
So I realize that there is a problem, I am just not sure if it is a physical issue primarily and needs medical help first; or if it is an emotional issue that I need to figure out how to soothe.
I am wondering if anybody has had an experience or any ideas on how to differentiate this for me? I dont want to put her through an expensive and probably painful ordeal if that isn't the source of the problem, but I am also not sure why she is so insecure all the time, or what to do about it.

wits end

2009-08-17T14:00:33Z

so i am trying to fight back the jungle that is my yard and losing. the lawn mower has gas, oil, clear blades and a brand new spark plug and still not turning on. no matter how i squeeze and tug and pull and curse and jump around it wont come on. my dog thinks i have officially lost it. and i am not sure if she is entirely wrong.
i dont want Dan to come home and need a machette to get through the yard, but we are closing in on that being a possibility. i am going to have to get some cash and find someone to do it for me, or find a neighbor i can borrow a mower from. i dont really know any of them enough to just knock on doors...but i am getting close, especially if no young kid knocks on my door in the next day or two looking for summer cash.

spaz quotient exceeded

2009-08-16T20:40:50Z

when you turn on the radio to dance with the 11 month old - cause he loves music and maintains attention for about two songs of bouncing, laughing, and stomping, which is baby equivilant of dancing - and he stops dancing and gives you a look that says "what is wrong with YOU mom?" look it is official: you have exceeded your spaz quotient for the day.

the point of course being that i dont care; i am having much fun with just me and the boy (and yes the neurotic puppy too)

The trainwreck of nuns called "Pathfinder"

2009-08-11T21:16:19Z

I think I just sat through the worst movie I have ever. up to this point the honor had gone to "Tron", which while terrible got forgiveness points for the era it was developed in. total cheese, but the science was forgivable. See- I tend to be a very forgiving movie critic. I can find at least some redeeming qualities and reason to watch just about any movie. I say that having sat through all 25 of the best of schwarzenegger.

the summery and previews were basically that the vikings raided North America; were driven away by the natives, but left behind a young boy; they come back 20 or so years later and the boy fights to protect his new family and win the girl kinda stuff. could be epic.

instead it is an excuse for gore using Indians and vikings with no clue about either. The Indian having a prophesy spirit animal of a white horse in the first minute was my first clue that is was going to be weak. The vikings were more like a D&D Orc heavy calvary. yes, vikings in heavy armour [definately fantasy armour] and on horseback. I can almost forgive the vikings as a killing horde, it is inacurate historically speaking, but told from the other side of their - aggressive negotiations, it makes for good story. The Indians were helpless rabbits with no hand-to-hand, hiding, or fighting skills who stood around and waited to be cut down. The fight scenes are dramatic and gorey, but even those are poorly done more often than not. still reeling from the sled on sheilds chase scene. *shudder

ride my motorcycle in the rain....

2009-08-01T00:55:46Z

so we tried to make a trip to the property on the bike on a sunny and suddenly free afternoon. Well, sunny didn't last. as a matter of fact the sky kinda fell.
It is kinda disturbed but I had a blast anyway. so.....i may be crazy. lol.

the land is suffering another hang up. with appraiser this time. apparently he used all the comps of a mobile home and not a modular, which is a huge difference.

Dan is leaving for more military training on thursday for two more weeks. *sigh* If He didn't love it so much and feel so right when he was being an NCO than I would be depressed if not outright pissed. I have some time off this week and so I have had a chance to spend some quality time with him though.

its official

2009-07-19T23:00:52Z

its official, I have the bestest baby ever. I had to run around to find a sitter for today, and I ended up stretching the bounds of proper and asking one of my hourly associates watch him today. she had no problem with it at first then something came up and she had to go to the beach on an errand today, with the plan of spending a little beach time - was it ok if she brought him along? I didn't have a lot of choice so I told her it was ok. ....she had so much fun she refused payment for the day. kept going on about how he was the best baby she had ever seen - didn't cry even once all day, talked the whole ride until he fell asleep. so somebody else agrees that my baby is the best baby ever. :-)

joy!

2009-07-17T17:15:05Z

so, when I was on post I stopped by the blood donor center to see old friends and found out that they were hiring. So, being REALLY fed up with where I work I went about trying to get a hold of the person who is in charge of hiring for said position. It takes a couple of days, and when I do, she tells me they just filled the position. I almost cried. I spent about 24 hours getting my head straight - cant put that much hope into getting something new - I must learn to love what I have. focus on what I am blessed with and not the sucky parts. then today I get a call from said recruiter - the person they had fell through - am I still interested. I think I answered a resounding yes too fast to be entirely proper. She told me a couple of things she wanted to see on the resume and wanted to know when I would be sending it. hahahahaha - "10 min, just let me check the dates are formated the way you want" maybe too eager about it? too bad, I am excited all over again. still a long shot in many ways. not like i can give my two weeks notice or anything, but hope lives again.

amused

2009-07-13T00:37:46Z

so, i am serioiusly celebrating the arrival of a spotty, late cycle.
the amused comes in with my conversation with my mom. she was laughing at me, cause she had her first cycle with both me and my sister. of course she also happened to mention that she has missed three. she is hoping the big change as much as [if not more than] i am hoping for the flu. so she teased me about having another, i teased her about owing the fates a set of twins. much amusement on all sides.

emotional

2009-07-11T21:56:39Z

so, He is out of town for two weeks and some. i am very sad over it. i tried really hard to not be all clingy with him when he was getting ready to leave. i am trying really hard to be all independant and self-sufficient. its not working well.
i am concerned. I have not felt the overwhelming fear and helplessness like this in ages. i actually woke up crying from a nap this afternoon. I have no idea what it was over. i just knew i couldn't continue. this is my second night off - i have to go to work tomorrow. i feel totally overwhelmed. this is out of control.
i know i want to quit my job; but it can't just be that can it?
i am still hoping for the arrival of my monthly friend - because wow. while it would explain the very tired, kinda sick, and out of control emotions; it is not good timing in the grand scheme of things. even though the other morning i wasn't sick when i first woke up and almost got dissapointed, then i stood up and i got queesy and the dissapointment went away, though not sure why....

on the job front, i am dropping resumes and applications on post for lab tech positions. i also talked to the IRR career counselor. the option is there to extend for a year with 24 months of stabalization [yes, that means no mobilizations for 12 more months than my commitment] though i can volunteer for mobilizations that i want, such as to the donor center or hospital. not the best choice, but good benefits, solid pay and really - can it be any worse than where i am now? that is a thought i never thought i would have. still not a great option, but something has to give.
of course if anyone knows of a good job that keeps me in the same pay range let me know. an offer that lets me spend time with my son and husband and play in the SCA without $$ hardships i will take it - the only stipulation is it has tp be legal.

interview news, aka a blonde moment

2009-06-26T23:03:28Z

so, I had an interview yesterday. final phase to hiring, up to this point the guy i had been talking to was VERY positive and sounding like i already had the job. i get there, i thought it went really well. then, bam - no go. he is "really looking for someone with either more experience managing a resturant or with "casual dining" style." he encouraged me to talk to the unit manager to become a memeber of the team [ie a waitress] and in about 7 months get promoted that way. what? that was all laid out in my resume and it both previous interviews, there were no surprises with how long i had been in the business; they wouldn't even run a credit or background check to start the process without my resume.....what happened? i would think that it wouldn't take till the third interview to be told i didn't qualify on something that basic. so i called my primary contact today - to ask if that was really it - or did i miss something at the interview, and to critique how the interview went [learning experience at least] and if it went well, why did we go this far. he told me like 3 times - he just wanted to get me in front of his boss, and he really wanted me to either come on board or at least try back in 6 - 7 months. which really didn't answer my question so doing my best to be politic i pushed. finally he paused, and while he didn't say it, i could here the "look" at the start of the sentence - "different managers look for different things - i just really wanted to get you in front of him" then it hits me. at his level, he was waiving that and he pushed me up. this other guy already knew he wasn't going to hire me but did the interview to appease him. ok, feel a little better about myself.
it doesn't help the fact that i HATE my job and need a way out before i go postal; but at least gave me a little confidence back that i might just find a way out yet.

in other news, the baby is screaming bloody murder and it sounds like he is hitting the wall next to his crib with what sounds like a sledgehammer [he has nothing hard in his crib right now] but, he also screams and kicks the floor or swings his cute little fists when i put him down, put up a gate, didn't feed him fast enough, tried to feed him that one last bite, didn't get his bottle quick enough, didn't let him hit the puppy, didn't stop the puppy from licking him, etc etc. and he has "babydoll eyes" you know the dolls that when you tip them backward their eyes close....poor kid is so just tired he can't stand himself.

not cool...just not cool

2009-06-24T22:52:20Z

so....gentleman walked into the store today wearing his cute little health inspector badge and looked around sizing things up. now, to put it into perspective we were way short shifted all day and it was at shift change - when they always like to show up. all my staff goes fricken ape shit. there are two things on my mind - one, my servsafe certificate hasn't shown up yet; and two, this was going to take too long - i wouldn't make it to get the kid in time. well, he doesn't ask for me right away, and i am at my busiest time of day so i keep doing what it is i have to do. so, i try to keep my staff on track and get my work as close to done as i can before i have to take off to get to the bank before it closes. our health inspector orders dinner, eats, smiles at us as he pays and leaves...
so not cool man, just not cool.

updates

2009-06-18T15:29:15Z

so, its been a while.

on vacation - so much happier. only a week off, but much needed. ready to be done with endless hours of no time off at all. 3 am phone calls. my interview with Ruby Tuesday got postponed and I was very sadened by that. kinda hoping I could give my 2 wks notice before I came back from my vacation. oh well. the interviewer had a family emergency and got on the next plane back to atlanta, with much assurance to me that they still really want to talk to me. so understanding.

to NOT talk of work anymore.....
i had a small excitement the other day. i opened my mailbox and saw a flash of red - thought it was one of those laser pointer lights at first and looked over my shoulder. looked deeper in the box and saw a big black spider on my mail. shook it just a touch and sure enough as she scurried around I saw the big red hourglass on her belly. my hand was inches from her - heebee-geebees. I debated moving her, but she was in a web back there - and i couldn't risk her coming back home. :-(

My son is still the greatest. we went to dinner last night, and he cuted the whole time. he was tired, but he ate my sweet potato [did not like the steak though] cuted at all the other customers, and gurgled and cooed at everyone till we left. more and more he is looking like a little boy and less the baby look. Dan caught a picture of him where he looks so much older. I am so proud of him. my heart just swells to bursting when i think of him.

got to fighter practice last weekend, and remembered how much i miss it. baronial practice this week, hoping to get up there. going to have to redo all my armour before i can fight most likely, but i just miss the people, the smell of armour, the sound of combat....*sigh

What Kind of Monster Are You?

2009-05-30T13:27:43Z

You Are a Werewolf

You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky.
You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster.
Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde.
But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural.

Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature

Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control

You play well with: Vampires

What Kind of Monster Are You?

PRE-APPROVED!

2009-05-21T14:01:38Z

so for those who dont know - we have been looking at buying a house and found this awesome modular and they were able to find us a plot of wooded land 1.18 acres that would land in our price range. just got the pre-approval letter today [love the electronic world] so included some of the pictures of the model home. [and one of the baby]

and just one of the baby - cause every picture show given by a new mom has at least one of the little one.
:

serious updates upcoming...but not yet

2009-05-20T00:56:16Z

Take The Despot / Small Woodland Creature Test at HelloQuizzy

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is anybody suprised??

2009-05-15T22:03:08Z

Take The Social Persona Test (What kind of man/woman are you?) at HelloQuizzy

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anal

2009-05-03T23:02:32Z

no....not like that. get your collective minds out of the gutter. i have actually come to realize just how much that word can be used to acurately describe me. I was talking to my division manager and he mentioned that my district had used that word to describe me and he agrees - though he made the point to say that it was not a bad thing in my position - just not to let it weigh me down.
in that vein i am very proud of my progress today. as i paid people with cash out of my safe if someone's check ended with 74 cents i gave them 75 cents without asking for a penny back [knowing that my safe was $2 over] a small step i know - but a step notheless.

no teething cookies

2009-04-23T12:44:28Z

so....i went grocery shopping at the food lion. on my need list was formula and teething cookies - the boy has gotten 6 teeth in less than a month, a very need. well, first of all they have NO baby biscuts/teething cookies - nothing for baby that isn't "easy disolve" so when i got to the register i wasn't overly upset that they are also out of the formula he drinks. especially since it costs about $5 more at food lion than at wal-mart.
so we get to wal-mart. grab a new binki - since the last one has been sucked into oblivion- and the formula and .....nope, no teething cookies here either. talk to another mom- nope no baby biscuts at wal-mart. we try to hit the cookie ailse for say some plain biscotti, but no luck there either - they all have nuts of chocolate or something.
so, still no teething cookies for the, rat. have to hit the commisary too. thinking this little thing is probably a clue that i need to get my id card...

meanie

2009-04-19T22:54:34Z

i must be a huge meanie. this is my conclusion. in the last week or so i have made at least 2 employees cry, and had a couple more storm away/threaten to give their two weeks...
the catch is, i know i am not wrong - so i dont feel at all bad about it. i left an employee sulking and verging on tears this afternoon and just felt irritated that she had an attitude about it.
how on one had can i understand their situation, but on the other not care enough to be giving on my end.

girl has been out sick for 7 days but has not seen a dr. isn't even calling me to let me know she isn't going to show up - waits till i call asking where she is to let me know she is still too sick.
single mom refuses to work weekends or even the regular hours - must have the early out shift.....POd that i am demanding she gives me some here.
guy who pulled a no-call/no-show on easter weekend - apparently because he was talking with a recruiter and has now joined the military.
guy who had "drama" at home so he didn't have enough sleep to come to work....
and lots of anger about giving hours out equally to all individuals who are working 1st shift. leaving folks who were getting over time at about 24-28 hours. mostly from folks who dictate to me that they can't work any 2nd shifts or can't work a weekend or cant seem to show up on time......

i dont have any sympathy - does that make me mean?

What Big Cat Are You?

2009-04-11T02:31:24Z

You Are a Jaguar

You have a knack for reforming, balancing, and even healing people.
You see the good in everyone, and you help bad people learn to be better.

Even though you connect to people, you can't help but feel separate from everyone else.
You often feel like you are on the outside looking in, even with your closest family members and friends.

What Big Cat Are You?

Type A

2009-04-06T18:21:12Z

I am the epitome of a Type A personality. I am most comfortable the more that is in my control. to the point of implosion. it is a big part of my stress at work - when something doesn't go right or well, i automatically feel that if i was controlling it it would go better and feel the urge to take that control. it is hard to accept that other people can and should be responsible for stuff. the same thing happens at home. i feel a driving urge to control everything. sometimes when i forget something, or let something slide I really lose it. in a full blown temper tantrum sorta way. i scared the baby today....i feel like a real shit. part of me knows that Dan is an adult here and able to take care of things, and it isn't fair to him the way i act and feel towards him when I get that way. i should trust him with more, but everytime something important gets forgotten it only seems to reenforce that obsession to control everything. if i dont learn to trust at least Dan i will have a complete mental breakdown. i see it happening, but i can't seem to do anything about it - like in a movie where a runaway train is heading toward a cliff where the bridge is out - only there is no hero in a white hat coming to throw a switch and save the day.
i thought i had a solution, had a way to balance it and control it. it fell apart on me.
so now i am stuck, dealing with the reality that running everything is going to make me explode and letting go isn't going to be any smoother.

life

2009-04-06T00:44:10Z

for those who haven't heard from me lately - its because I am working. that is what i spend my life doing now. any spare seconds i catch with my son and husband. i dont make phone calls and i rarely check email and i haven't been on livejournal in almost a month.
when i took this job i thought that one of the hardest things i would have to do was fire someone....now that i have it i am finding that one of my hardest tasks is not firing everybody. i love most aspects of the job - but sometimes i am stunned by people. had a girl screw up and write down her schedule wrong, so she didn't show up on a saturday morning. she then tries to explain how it isn't really her fault and she didn't really understand why i was holding her responsible for it.... i do over 60% of my business on saturday and sunday, i can't afford for those kinds of mistakes to happen. I have people refusing to do their share of the cleanup because someone else managed to duck out without doing theirs. i have so much work to do at shift change that i dont really have the time to directly supervise end of shift responsibilities, but the need for strong managment there is currently my biggest headache.
in better news, my son is still the greatest. he even already understands the concept of a weekend. when my internal alarm woke me up just before 6am on my day off i heard him cooing in his crib. i laid back down to get just a few more minutes. 2 hours later he started crying. poor kid was starved, but he let me sleep in. he also has started cutting teeth. he had three break through in one day, and another the next day. he has a few more you can feel or see just the edge of. he gets fussy at night, but still decides it is bedtime around 9 more often than not and lays down or fusses till you put him to bed. he sleeps through the night most of the time - unless his teeth are really bothering him. He has started crawling, not with a whole lot of speed, he can still skootch faster most of the time. but his range is increasing day to day. He eats like a champ, just about anything you put in front of him. we got a blender and are getting ready to start blending some of our dinner for him. of course, Dan is excited about getting a blender. first there were the "people elixers" and white russians; now, now there are smoothies.
all-in-all, my life is good. i wish i spent more time at home and less at work, but as i get things under my control at work i imagine a lot less "presense" being required.

lesson in judgements today.....

2009-02-03T21:09:49Z

so, I went grocery shopping at the local Food Lion today. I ussually go to the commisary, but my id is expired so this was my first real trip for more than one or two things. one of the biggies on my list was formula. I walked up the baby isle - diapers...wipes...bottles etc...cereal....food and graduates ...end of isle. i walked it like 3 or 4 times before I asked someone. turns out it is such a high theft item you have to get it the same way you get cigs. go to the special checkout and ask the to unlock it and get it for you. this had my mind blown for all of 15 min it took me to get hme and sean start to cry. he was hungry and angry about it. what did i say to him.."its ok baby, you know mommy would never let you go hungry...."
lightbulb

adult conversations

2009-01-21T23:43:29Z

i think i need more adult conversation / interaction in my life. i was at work yesterday and in my best baby voice to no one in particular said "there you are jellies, come over here..." it was at this point that one of the waitresses heard me and started to laugh. after narrating for Sean so long it seems natural to do it all he time.
i also find it difficult to pass up a chance to talk to adults. i am eager to grab up the baby when i get to the sitter, but no interest in actually leaving once i am holding him.

i can't wait for Dan to come home.   of course after he gets back i also have dreams of taking a hour long bubble bath and going to bed early.......

people amaze me

2009-01-21T01:28:15Z

situation:
say your supervisor told you in a meeting that the company was going to begin random drug testing. if anyone had a problem with it to let him know, and he would give everybody 1 pass if they said something in advance, because he understands that sometimes thing hapen. and say you went to him after that meeting and told him you might pop hot because of a recent party. he then explains, that is your pass and you WILL be tested next time around 3-6 months or so.
at this point do you a) watch yourself extra careful and avoid those things until you at least pass the test or b) forget all about it

and when that time comes around, you try the same line about just this once, it almost never happens.
at this point to you feel you have the right to be pissed when you get canned?